Celebrate World Poetry Day(21st march)

They say writing is easier than doing, but I don’t think writing has ever been easier for any writer who writes from his true spirit.

Poetry for me is an echo, a very loud echo, inside the walls of my soul that endorse my pen to dance with my shadow.

The Love Life. eh!

Possibly you are that yellow bird I have been looking for long, apart from your color, which is imprecise. Though you look beautiful! You have so many faults that make it easy to overlook your loveliness. But I am a benevolent soul, so I decide to fall for you, or you can call me foolish too, it’s your wish, or maybe no, it’s not, it’s mine, I approve you to.

I’ll make sure not to dream about you, because they are strangely accurate and cruel, and I don’t think I want to see you there with the black dog and dead cat I dream about. I don’t imagine you have any cause to be in my life even though it’s all bare, but I’ll still keep you at edge, so you better show me some gratitude because that’s how I exhibit my care for special people.

Don’t worry, I am not selfish, I know I keep a huge zone for myself but I have reasons that I won’t tell because to some extent I think it’s my fault. But believe me, it’s not. Maybe someday I will try to narrate the reason of being me in the most peculiar way that is unknown to you, but I will make sure that you get me. You better be attentive that day, because I’ll get deeply wounded if you won’t, since it is hard for me to tell. Try to understand me, I don’t expect completely, but don’t make me feel like an alien because I am going to cheat on my soul that day. Don’t try to act smarter than me, don’t give me your clever dialogues, don’t pretend that you know me, and don’t try to analyze my words like it’s a theory and you’re very interested because I will be aware of your acts as I am foremost almost every single imagination your mind is going to make. So, stay calm and just listen, and yes, don’t even pretend that you’re thinking, it disturbs me. I am not rude or anything, I am just a very much awkward and intelligent and observing.

You will think that I don’t trust you at some instances, believe me, I don’t. I am that someone who will be very appealing and dedicated but in the true sense of my nature, I am just following the idea of you being the one, meanwhile I am aware of all the truths and penalties. I am ready to get hurt anytime and shed tears, because I have always been geared up, but I believe that I can be wrong so I let myself in. But that’s where I am really wrong, because I have always been precise about all the birds, I am Leonardo de Vinci when it comes to see the true color, but as I said I believe that I can be wrong.

And in the end of all love and games, when you will fail me, off course you will what else you have been here for? I will accept my breakdown and clap for my De Vinci. Maybe Will again look up to the sky, because if not you, there are many yellow birds that are not exactly yellow, waiting for me, to start a fresh death battle with my mind.

Purely, The emptiness!

I have always had this desire to roll over with skates but it is one of those wishes people usually don’t reveal as they are not really vital to them, but maybe it is a part of my nature. Maybe I never reveal too much of me even when I reveal everything, maybe it is because who I have become or maybe because nothing has ever influenced me much that I really need to care about enlightening everything. 

Thinking about serene life can be normal for people but for me it is a special idea, since I have been into so many anarchies and aged faster than usual and became weirder than I ought to. There are only a handful of things I really feel are significant to me but beside those materialistic and godforsaken objectives in life, I also try to manufacture tiny flowers in the garden under my head. In point of fact I rarely do that but it came to my notice lately that I do, whatever the world may seem and no matter what I would want to accomplish in life; my human in me just ask for a beautiful emptiness. “Emptiness” is not an affirmative but it is us that have stamped a cruel implication to it, but in reality it can be fine-looking.

For me that ‘emptiness’ doesn’t carry any melancholy or lonesomeness but it transmit an exquisite simplicity of life. It is a power of ignorance to the questions, which I don’t want to answer because I know they are way too much materialistic for my real being. It is a state where you do not have to define anything to anyone and do nothing about anything. Maybe I am giving it a whole new meaning but that’s what I would like to think of it. That state is almost unreachable but we are all trying to grab its butt without knowing. As we are all fighting with nerve-racking situations and problematic routines or bad relationships or worst scenarios of life? Have you ever wondered why you are fighting and where you want to reach after that? Maybe you have wanted peace or isolation after everything but all I want is to be nothing, do nothing and mean nothing. It might sound horrifying to some people but that complex state of being a nothing is actually a true state of happiness.

We are all running after to reach somewhere, finding meaning of lives we are living, and elaborating our lives into words and sentences to give it a bona fide and complex purport. But what if we don’t need to do that, what if we can just stay calm at where we are, at being anything and mean nothing. I want to reach that state of being nothing called ‘emptiness’, where I have no definition of what I am doing and neither I would want to find one, what humans are suppose to do or what a daughter or a sister or a friend is supposed to do.

But materialism has eaten our souls although it is not wrong either, because that’s also a state of life’s reality. And we cannot defy reality but we can find within us a state of being nothing, not permanently, not as a substantial proof, but just as passivity.

Raftaar!

kisi ne ek afva felayi thi ek dafa, ki “jo hota hai acche k lie hota hai”;

Ho bhi sakta hai par shayad me wakif nahi, agar me kahu to “jo hota hai kisi maksad se hota hai”.

Dhue k nashe me jab gadhi ki awaaz k dohrav k saath sanse chalti hai, tab ek darr sa lagta hai ki me is ehsaas me fass na jau...

Ussi fande ka darr zindagi k har vakye me lagta hai, kahi me haar na jau, akele na reh jau, zindagi me kuch hasil kar pau, kahin mujhe mohabbat na hojae, agar hojae to kaash mil jae, agar mil jae to saath reh jae… sath reh bhi jae to me khush reh pau…

Kisi bhi baat ka kabhi koi ant nahi hota, zindagi ke mukaam hote hi anant hai; ya fir shayad hume esi hi zindagi chahiye hoti hai.

Har insan zindagi me khushiyo ka picha karta hai, par mujhe lagta hai hum khushiyo k piche nahi gol bhag rahe hain. khushiya mil bhi jaati hai to rukte kahan hai, sukoon se beth k saans bhi nahi lete,

Fir bhaagne lagte hai kisi raah me koi khushi dhundne, asal me to bas bhaagna accha lagta hai, shayad insan hota hi thoda bawra hai… sochta hai ki nahi hai, par bohot zyada hai. Vo pagalpan hi hai jo hume khushi or himmat deta hai bhaagte rehne ki.

Hum sochte hain kab khatam hoga ye toofan, kab mai chen ki saans lunga, par uske lie ant ka intezaar kyn karna hai? abhi hi lelo gehri saans, kynki aage bas bhaagna hai. Jo karna hai sath sath karo, intezaar mat karo sai waqt ka; kynki waqt ne bhi kabhi waqt ki suni hai?

Uske saath hi daudh’ chalo, kabhi kuch nahi savrega or na hi kabhi kuch itana tabaah ki ruk pao. Bas maksad dhundo ki kyn hua or pakad lo raftaar. Asaan nahi par or koi charra b nahi hai kynki ek baar soch k dekho ki jitana b kuch hua hai aajtak kabhi ruke ho?

Islie,

bhaago bas!

My Ill-Trait!

I nurture it deep down my heart, I don’t narrate its life but I wonder relentlessly. It grows in me... I don’t show it, but it does.

I thought I heard you calling my name, I thought I felt your hands over me but it was nothing more than a wave of my brain… My flesh over me pine for your warmth, like a child for his mother’s embrace… but you failed me, not once or twice but all the time.

 I am ridiculously reluctant to uncover your faults, maybe because I know you have too many, maybe I have become comfortable with how wrong you are and how foolish I am being. I don’t suffer but I have wounds all over me; I am not aware of how I got them… but I have them, they grow little by little and I notice them every day.

You are my bleakness, you are my aching failure, you don’t even acknowledge that know… I have no idea when I let you become my divine bastard.  I would love to hear your heavenly voice but all I hear is your echoed chatter from history.

I want you to lay a hand on me and give me that feeling of a sinful lover, I want you to open my bun and set my hair free, I want you to leave your smell over me for forever but, I ask nothing. Maybe if you’ll see me in this phase of self-indulgence, you will fall for me; but that’s not what I wish for.

You have become a blemish over my soul and I want to get liberated from everything that belongs to you, but I don’t know how… or maybe I just don’t desire to because I am afraid. Afraid of sheer isolation!

There is nothing in my life that is fed by you but I still long for you, I am sick of myself but I am afraid too. I have this feeling that if we’ll meet, everything will be reasonable; but I am scared… scared that you will be a ridiculous soul or a piece of disgust. Maybe that’s why I yearn for you but never meet.

You are nothing, nothing I would die for,

 It’s just I am foolish and you’re lucky!

And you tell me I am lucky?

They say I am lucky, they pretend they don’t need one, they act as if they are better off alone…

But I think they are resentful of what I have; I have a best friend!!

It’s a struggle, it’s a hard work to be keen on someone, its forgiveness, it’s a non-judgment game, it’s a party of two, it’s a fight beyond your zone, it’s about letting one in, it’s about importance, and also it’s about love.

 Maybe I am fortunate, but maybe it’s just that I love her and she loves me back, it’s not easy to feel complete with a same sex but it is a blissful negotiation, it’s neither your kinship nor it is natural for your subconscious. It’s a relationship that is literally complicated but a consistent reconciliation in the end.

It doesn’t matter if you are angry, you even hate her, you don’t want to see her, you can kill her, or you are extremely annoyed but when she will stand in front of you and roar her thoughts into your brain… You will have to understand; because that’s what it is all about… you can’t afford to lose her, she is beyond every single relationship you have ever had with anyone or anything. Because she’s your only ’stable state’ of mind.

When you fail in life, when you die a bit inside, when your words fail to portray you, when your pain is intolerable, when your dilemma is undying, when you’re at fault… you know where you have to go and you know what you need… But she won’t give you this chance, because she will come to you as you need her.

It is very hard to love someone when you know him really too well, but she does… she loves you and you love her. You tell her things you don't tell yourself, because you know when you will lose your mind and seek out answers; she will strike a chord about who you are.

Are you ready to get into this? It’s a lovely pain, it’s a constant drug, its serenity of psyche, its more than a love life… it’s a last piece of your puzzle, and it will become life… second after second and year after year.

And if you don’t feel the same, believe me; you are not best friends.

And if you say you don’t need this, believe me; you are scared and lying to yourself.

And if you say we are sick and you’re better off alone, believe me; you don’t deserve it neither you have an audacity. 

In this last day_The 31st!

In this last day of the week, of the month and of the year… We shall dwell in love and peace!

In this last day…We must love and find ecstasy,

In this last day…We ought to hold the hands of our lovers and family and friends and announce our love,

It this last day…Let’s learn by heart the faces who left us and of those who were left by us,

In this last day…Why not let all the worries die, for a moment… just for a second,

In this last day…Let’s just breathe… and just sleep in your warm blanket in peace,

In this last day…Let’s just miss the Bollywood stars that breathed their last,

In this last day…Let’s not fight… Let’s just make it all right,

In this last day...we must celebrate, it’s neither diwali nor Holi nevertheless it is the last day of the year you lived through and survived,

In this last day…let’s just cuddle your dogs,

In this last day…let’s just hope for endurance,

In this last day…we must sing and dance and welcome the new day,

In this last day…let’s just rememorize the past… The exams, the graduation, the new life or the old one, the street dogs, the new friends or the old ones, the pizzas and fat, the run or marathon, the horror movie or t.v series, the lovers or family, the stranger or best friends, the lover or the past one, the tattoos or the photography, the teachers or the juniors or the seniors or the bosses or the colleagues or ANYONE OR ANYTHING.

LET’S JUST SMILE!