Egoist

I am disgusted by the way your judgements are falling down now… I hate to see you being wrong as you have never been with me… your affection doesn't blesses me now… we were one soul of power and love but I can’t feel that now… I can’t sense the intoxicating connection… that weakness in it makes me weak…I don’t want anything from you cause I think there is nothing left to ask for… as I am not suppose to ask anything ever…

You don’t love me when I want you do…You don’t hate me when I want you do…You don’t become happy when I want you to be…You don’t become happy from me when I want you to be…You are wrong now, when I want you to be perfect… as it is suppose to be after the eternity of perfection…

I pray sometimes to god to forgive and forget this immoral hatred I’d formed for you but I can’t help it, you had no right to disappoint me when I am still following the same picture you have drawn of me in your mind, I hate you for forming the unfaithful intentions and even no blasphemy stopped you.

Love has its own rules… you taught me… you had held my hand and tell me to follow the elegance, the bliss… I am still there waiting for you… but I never understood where you left me alone… where the dark had made me blind and I was unable to see you anymore... my hands still know your touch… where are you? You promised me that you will be faithful in this story. We had designed endlessness and there is no way out of it. But you did, you broke the promise and I still stand there but I don’t expect you to be there now… so don’t disappoint me this time… cause I am comfortable being sad.

We still laugh, we still talk, we stalk walk, we are still alive but why don’t you see the disparity… why didn't you noticed when I was separating my soul from yours… you seemed happy… you were always unaware of the disappointment you’d thrown onto me… you pretended that you don’t know when to love n hate… when to cry n wait, when to smile n appreciate… you pretended not to know. You pretended not to know your selfish diplomacy… you acted innocent… I'd perceive that bravery of yours. You have grown stronger in being wrong. That vanity in your innocence has drawn you to pretend the falseness that you have elapsed now the truth of it. You believe the lie and you live it purely without any puzzlement.

You flowed like a breath in me… deep you went… you covered the whole soul of mine… you coloured it your favorite one… you painted it with the love brush… and stamped the belief of permanence … how I am suppose to leave you here now? It’s turning impossible for me to end this affair of pure sanity or vanity. You are rooted deep in my world. I cannot cut you from there even if I want to do it, before my death.