I have always had this desire to roll over with
skates but it is one of those wishes people usually don’t reveal as they are
not really vital to them, but maybe it is a part of my nature. Maybe I never
reveal too much of me even when I reveal everything, maybe it is because who I have
become or maybe because nothing has ever influenced me much that I really need
to care about enlightening everything.
Thinking about serene life can be normal for
people but for me it is a special idea, since I have been into so many anarchies
and aged faster than usual and became weirder than I ought to. There are only a
handful of things that I really feel are significant to me but beside those
materialistic and godforsaken objectives in life, I also try to manufacture
tiny flowers in the garden under my head. In point of fact I rarely do that but
it came to my notice lately that I do, whatever the world may seem and no
matter what I would want to accomplish in life; my human in me just ask for a
beautiful emptiness. “Emptiness” is not an affirmative but it is us that have
stamped a cruel implication to it, but in reality it can be fine-looking.
For me that ‘emptiness’ doesn’t carry any
melancholy or lonesomeness but it transmit an exquisite simplicity of life. It
is a power of ignorance to the questions, which I don’t want to answer because
I know they are way too much materialistic for my real being. It is a state
where you do not have to define anything to anyone and do nothing about
anything. Maybe I am giving it a whole new meaning but that’s what I would like
to think of it. That state is almost unreachable but we are all trying to grab
its butt without knowing. As we are all fighting with nerve-racking situations
and problematic routines or bad relationships or worst scenarios of life? Have
you ever wondered why you are fighting and where you want to reach after that?
Maybe you have wanted peace or isolation after everything but all I want is to
be nothing, do nothing and mean nothing. It might sound horrifying to some
people but that complex state of being a nothing is actually a true state of
happiness.
We are all running after to reach somewhere,
finding meaning of lives we are living, and elaborating our lives into words
and sentences to give it a bona fide and complex purport. But what if we don’t
need to do that, what if we can just stay calm at where we are, at being
anything and mean nothing. I want to reach that state of being nothing called
‘emptiness’, where I have no definition of what I am doing and neither I would
want to find one, what humans are suppose to do or what a daughter or a sister
or a friend is supposed to do.
But
materialism has eaten our souls although it is not wrong either, because that’s
also a state of life’s reality. And we cannot defy reality but we can find
within us a state of being nothing, not permanently, not as a substantial
proof, but just as passivity.
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