But I ignored!

Making noise with my shoes, I was walking behind some known people in half senses.., I was so high..! That grave and the smoke, her birth and some hopes.., it was paining again! That green was covering me from all over and I thought it was trapping my soul; out of the blue a leaf fell on my shoulder.., all moldy and dead! I was losing my mind, I tripped, I walked, I smiled, I talked…, I heard some laughs and some silent words, it was me talking to oneself, my partially smoked cigarette reminds me of you, but I ignored you, you don’t deserve to be there..! I saw the green lake.., blocked for a while and did wonder; my life is blue?  Is it drowning? Or dead in deep? But I ignored because it wasn’t the right time and there was something erroneous! I covered miles with people but I thought only of me and no-one else, that wintry weather wind followed me and murmured something in my ear but I ignored! My hands slipped in pockets.., that trail turned everlasting and my lips were wearing that broken smile.., I looked up and saw that running sky, I remember how you ran away when I was howling for your love, for you to sustain, to feed, for your motherly role, I wanted to fight back but I ignored and turned numb because I knew that there was something wrong! I walked again.., followed those same foots.., there was one tree in path but before it could come across we turned left.., it was beautiful enough to grab my attention. I walked slowly so that I could see it for long from side..! I felt myself walking in the dark cave and thought when will I crawl out of it, someone will come and hold me in arms and kiss me and hug me and ask me what is wrong.., but I ignored because I knew there was something wrong! Wrong with me!