I was listening to this song by Beatles_ Eleanor Rigby,
which says
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?
I was connecting myself to the words and the serene music
but then in the end it left me wondering, I was lying on my bed like a frog on
a lily pad but the different between the frog and me was I am not a frog,
though I would’ve if I had any choice but as I am somewhat a reluctant human
being, I have some duties in life. But I wonder what my duties are? What am I
suppose to be or do or do not? And why the hell there is so much stress when
there is really no stress because as a mature adult if I don’t have stress then
surely I am doing something wrong. What are the answers?!!?
I speculate! Where I have to go? And who are those lonely
people? I feel lonely almost every time but I love my state of solitary! But
that is not the answer, who are they then? Is it me? But the fact of admitting
will prove me a loner and which will be an edgy proof of me being weaker than
others horrifies me strong enough to make me think that I am not the one. Maybe
I am one of them and maybe we all are, we are not some special breed that is
born out of some black-hole, off course we have family and friends but they are
just like our clothes or shoes or pencils, they are our and they are with us
but that can’t make us feel better about our loneliness because they are not
what we always demand.
Then I was thinking who we really need or demand or want?
Maybe a lover who is not like our mother but just a patriotic lover, who is not
a psychopath like us but is a psychopath of his own style, because obviously we
can’t survive with someone exactly like us but yes we want his intellectual and
maturity level same as ours because dating an uncle makes you feel shit always
and it is still a mystery why women date mature guys and men can deal with
sweet sixteen no matter how stupid she is. No I am not insulting men but this
is what I always wonder because I cannot imagine myself with someone younger
than me. Anyways the point is who we really call for? Or do us really need
them? Maybe it is just a burden of society and psychological effect of watching
couples everywhere, yes maybe this is true… we don’t feel alone sitting in a
park until we see bunch of happy couples! Yes I literally mean HAPPY couples
because that’s what hurts the most, we are fine if they are bitchy or hate each
other… because it somewhat gives us a sense of relief that “that is why I stay
alone”, but if they are happy and having great romantic sexual life then it
kills us somewhere.
But it’s not what always happens; most of us are still alone
even when we are with someone… It’s a dialogue in one of my favorite show that
for men ‘we’ is ‘me and my dick’ and that is sometimes true and what happens in
man’s case is they try to understand their woman but always fail and always
will because women really don’t know what they want.
But all of this never exactly tells me who the lonely people
are? But eventually I understand I may not need the answer because to the some
extent we all know who they are. Let’s not accept who they are but all of us
know, because the truth is; many times people make us lonely and many people
are lonely because of us. But it is fine to live in a delusion that we don’t
know who they are as its satisfactory!!
We are all walking toward something, something which will
end someday and we won’t be needing any answers then.
