I have always had this desire to roll over with skates but it is one of those wishes people usually don’t reveal as they are
not really vital to them, but maybe it is a part of my nature. Maybe I never
reveal too much of me even when I reveal everything, maybe it is because who I have
become or maybe because nothing has ever influenced me much that I really need to care
about enlightening everything.
Thinking about serene life can be normal for
people but for me it is a special idea, since I have been into so many anarchies
and aged faster than usual and became weirder than I ought to. There are only
a handful of things I really feel are significant to me but beside those
materialistic and godforsaken objectives in life, I also try to manufacture tiny
flowers in the garden under my head. In point of fact I rarely do that but it
came to my notice lately that I do, whatever the world may seem and no matter
what I would want to accomplish in life; my human in me just ask for a
beautiful emptiness. “Emptiness” is not an affirmative but it is us that have stamped
a cruel implication to it, but in reality it can be fine-looking.
For me that ‘emptiness’ doesn’t carry any melancholy
or lonesomeness but it transmit an exquisite simplicity of life. It is a power
of ignorance to the questions, which I don’t want to answer because I know they
are way too much materialistic for my real being. It is a state where you do
not have to define anything to anyone and do nothing about anything. Maybe I am
giving it a whole new meaning but that’s what I would like to think of it. That
state is almost unreachable but we are all trying to grab its butt without
knowing. As we are all fighting with nerve-racking situations and problematic
routines or bad relationships or worst scenarios of life? Have you ever
wondered why you are fighting and where you want to reach after that? Maybe you
have wanted peace or isolation after everything but all I want is to be
nothing, do nothing and mean nothing. It might sound horrifying to some people
but that complex state of being a nothing is actually a true state of
happiness.
We are all running after to reach somewhere,
finding meaning of lives we are living, and elaborating our lives into words
and sentences to give it a bona fide and complex purport. But what if we don’t
need to do that, what if we can just stay calm at where we are, at being
anything and mean nothing. I want to reach that state of being nothing called ‘emptiness’,
where I have no definition of what I am doing and neither I would want to find
one, what humans are suppose to do or what a daughter or a sister or a friend
is supposed to do.
But
materialism has eaten our souls although it is not wrong either, because that’s
also a state of life’s reality. And we cannot defy reality but we can find
within us a state of being nothing, not permanently, not as a substantial
proof, but just as passivity.
